I wore my heart on my sleeve when I was younger out there looking for love. I still do, but now I am not getting the short end of the stick. At last I am in a loving and committed marriage with an amazing little boy and beautiful step children. But along life's journey, I learned many lessons through being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I was naive when it came to men, thinking if I treated them with warmth and compassion I would get the same in return. Most times I was trying to prove that I was not like the last woman who broke their heart. Silly me!! I gave 80% and received 20%. My time, money, body, and most importantly heart paid the price. I must have had a flashing neon sign on my forehead that read "NO GOOD MAN PLEASE APPROACH!"
Finally, I grew sick and tired of unanswered phone calls, unexplained phone numbers in the pocket, broken promises of dates, sexually unfulfilled, finances out of control, lonely and depressed. I knew something had to change. In order for that change to happen, I needed to be honest with myself and take a personal inventory. Although it was hard to swallow, I realized that I was the common denominator to my many disappointments. I didn't set my standards and the love I was looking for needed to start with me.
Reevaluating my priorities, I needed to love and value myself and until I could do that, how could I expect someone else to. I was trying to be superwoman to men who were not ready to be with a woman like myself and instead of trying to change them, I was the one that needed changing. I couldn't control the behaviors of those men but I sure could control mine. I strengthened my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, became abstinent and rebuilt my self esteem. I learned a lot about myself and knew that when the time presented itself, I would approach my next relationship differently.
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired led to insight and necessary change. When I got tired of the same results which played a continuous loop, cycle, or pattern that's when change happened. Change is not pretty, comfortable, easy or fast. But for my personal growth and development it was essential to achieving a quality of life I knew I deserved.
by,
Jennifer C. Foxworthy
Hi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that your are following your heart and doing something that you are so passionate about. Today, I really need to hear this post again. I know we heard it so much in school that we can only change ourselves, and I know we've told clients that as well, but I sometimes forget it for myself. Things have changed so much since our sweet boy was born, and mostly all for the better. Chris and I are having trouble with finding us again and understanding that we are still a couple even with our boy. I found myself blaming him for it this weekend, but it's not just him, it's me too. We are both so tired and I just feel lonely down here since my network of friends are no longer here and I'm home all day by myself. Your post today really brought me back to reality of what I need to do to make changes, so we don't loose us. Love You.
Love,
Amy
Precious Amy thank you so much for reading my blog. I am praying for you both honey.
ReplyDeleteMuch love
Jennifer