The Purpose and Power of Pushing Forward

I would be lying if I told you challenges never crossed my path.  Or that I never thought about giving up.  Matter of fact, not only would I be lying to you, but myself as well.  Oh how I wish life was smooth and easy.  Or that everything went my way all according to plan.  But it wouldn't be realistic.  If it did, would I appreciate it?  For every disappointment, my faith was shaken.  For every setback, I get discouraged and can't see the forest from the trees.  Fear, worry and doubt set in and I become distracted.  I want to throw up my hands in frustration and yell "What's the use!"   It sure doesn't help when the devil finds me when I am most vulnerable and whispers in my ear "Why bother." 

Although, I have many reasons to throw in the towel, the reasons to keep pushing forward outweighed them.  There is purpose and power in pushing forward.  It's having faith in what I can't see and believing it is bigger than what I can see with the naked eye.  It's realizing that after the storm comes sunshine and peace.  It's appreciating every achievement because the journey to success was long and difficult.  It's believing that when one door closes another is opening wide just for me to walk through.  It's understanding that with God on my side, I can move mountains and cross the widest rivers.  Just like a mother giving birth to her beautiful child, she pushes even in pain.  She pushes when it's not comfortable.  She pushes exhausted and feels like she can't go on.  She pushes because the seed that was planted has grown and is now ready to be birthed.  



So I push even when my knees buckle!
I push with tears streaming down my face!
I push because having regrets is not an option!
I push forward because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
The purpose and power of pushing forward was worth it because I am stronger, wiser and abundantly blessed!   

Tomorrow My Sunshine Will Come: Memoirs of Women Who Survived Domestic Violence

Finally my newly published book is here!!  It has been a long journey with many twist, turns and bumps, but with God's mercy and grace, I survived and persevered.  If you know of anyone, man or woman, who is trapped in an abusive relationship, please share this book.  It contains six true stories, including mine, of our trials, tribulations and triumphs.  I want people to know the statistics are alarming and that you don't have to suffer alone and shame.  

You can purchase the paperback through CreateSpace.com or purchase the ebook or paperback through Amazon.com

Take care of yourself and be blessed!

Jennifer

Did YOU Miss YOUR Exit?

The idea for this post came to me while having a heart to heart talk with my dear friend Elena.  Elena admitted to being so engrossed into a conversation with her friends in the car that she didn’t pay attention to what was right in front of her.  Elena lost situational awareness on the destination she was heading to.  Once she realized her exit was coming up, she erratically veered across several lanes to get there.  In her haste, she risked not only her life and her friends, but other drivers as well.  When Elena couldn't make it to her turn off in time, she had no choice but to drive past the intended exit in hopes of quickly approaching an alternative one.  Consequently, this left Elena and her friends frustrated and behind schedule.  She was able to draw a parallel to personal missed opportunities to that of missing an exit while driving down the highway. 

 Immediately, I could relate to the comparison Elena drew from her story.  I lost count of how many times I worried about what others said or thought about me.  I was overwhelmed with the self-induced drama I allowed myself to live.   Additionally, I was in relationships with men I had no business being in.  Besides that, I accumulated "friends" to where the relationship was lopsided (I gave and they received).   Furthermore, I struggled professionally because I lacked effort and concentration.  I became absorbed with things that didn't add a positive purpose to my well-being.  Unfortunately, I lost focus to what was important.  

In other words, I desired tranquility in my life while obtaining my goals and fulfilling my purpose, but my actions showed otherwise.  By failing to plan, prepare and execute, I missed my exit.  I missed an opportunity.  Ultimately, I missed a blessing. 

Can you relate?  Have you lost sight to what is important?  Is your life in crisis and you keep missing opportunities and blessings?  Whether we realize it or not, our poor decision making or lack of planning, will directly or indirectly affect others.  Whose life are you jeopardizing along with yours?  It’s only when we get tired of swerving across four lanes only to miss our turn and have to drive out of our way to find the next exit, do we get focused and get on the right track. 

Your GPS (God’s Purpose for Self) is specifically programed for you.  God is willing to guide you every step of the way if you allow Him to do so.  Tomorrow is not promised, so stop driving aimlessly through life while expecting to reach your destination safely and on time.  Peace, Purpose and Power are waiting for you.     

Forgiveness Is the Key

Unstoppable You is being able to Forgive.  Once you put it in your mind and heart to do so, 

Forgiveness becomes the Key that unlocks the handcuffs, which holds you captive to self-destructive behavior and thoughts.  

By Forgiving, you make a conscious effort of breaking the toxic pattern that has been passed down from generation to generation.  When you unlock the handcuffs, every meaningful relationship you have will benefit.

16 Ways to Know Your Life Is In Crisis-Hoarder Style

It wasn't very long ago that I could have admitted to several of the below examples.  But I want you to know that just like those who suffer from the actual addiction, your life doesn't have to be this way.  Like most things in life, if it is worth having then it is worth the work.  To me, your life is worthy of having the quality, purpose, fulfillment and happiness you deserve.  It is time to start cleaning out the closet and sorting through the baggage or trash that weighs you down. Personal growth is not always easy, pretty or comfortable.  But when the trash is gone, your pathway is clear and your eyes can focus on the light that not only shines through your window, but on the other side of the door that leads to an Unstoppable You!! 

16 Ways to Know Your Life Is In Crisis-Hoarder Style

1.     Your house looks nice on the outside, but when you open the door, the dysfunction and chaos is exposed.  It has gotten out of control and unmanageable. 

2.     Your life is cluttered with people who serve no positive purpose.

3.     There is so much garbage (fear, gossip and drama) in your life that there is no clear path for you to reach your personal and professional goals.

4.     Trash (personal baggage) is piled up around your door, therefore blocking blessings from reaching you.

5.     Your mess (not forgiving, accepting responsibility, and moving forward) affects your health, shortening your lifespan.

6.     The smell (drama) keeps you up at night.  Above all, it keeps people away.

7.     The devil is excited your house is unkempt because he wants to finish demolishing it, serving you a permanent eviction notice. 

8.     After a while, your mess is so bad it spills over to the outside (social media).  But you don’t see anything wrong with it.

9.     You complain no one is willing to help you clean up your mess but when people do, you become lazy, watching them do all the work.

10.  You have so much stuff (unresolved problems) that it begins to close in on you.  Suffocating you from reality, society, and the life God desires for you.

11.  You have been holding on to so much clutter (pain from the past) that you find other junk (alcohol, drugs… etc.) to make you happy (fill the void or numb the pain).

12.  Your house is such a mess that it keeps visitors (positive people) from coming in.  The only company you have is the rats and roaches (negative family and friends).  They don’t think anything is wrong with the way things look, smell, and feel.

13.  You know that you’re not living right but pride keeps you from seeking the help (God) you need.

14.  Your house is gloomy and dark.  Sunlight hasn't shined through your windows in months.

15. Your house is such a mess that you misplace your valuables (self-esteem, courage, love, purpose, peace, self-satisfaction and personal growth).

16. Your house is such a mess that it literally becomes an emotional, mental and physical jail.

Beauty Scars of Survival

 

How many of you have ever been a little clumsy, fell down and scraped your knee?  Or wasn't paying attention when reaching into the stove to pull out your casserole and nicked your arm?

     I lost count of how many self-inflicted scars I have scattered all over from the top of my head down to the bottom of my flat feet. When injured, I never hesitated to properly treat the wound.  Before I used anything to cover it up, I first had to clean it out with antiseptic.  Then, as I winced, dabbed some Neosporin to sooth the pain and speed up the healing process.  Last but not least, I dressed it with gauze or a band aid.  At the time of the injury, I didn't think of the mark it would leave.  I just wanted the throbbing to subside and for the wound to get better so it wouldn't get infected.  After a few days, I was able to remove the band aid.  Even though the mark was there, it had faded to where I barely noticed.  

     Although I was never self-conscious about my scars, I know that there are people who will go the extra mile to cover it with makeup or even dress differently.  None the less, that mark becomes a permanent scar on our outward appearance.  Many of us have suffered deep gashes to our heart or spirit.  It jolts us like an earthquake and knocks us off our feet.  Emotions take over and we scramble to figure out what to do next.  If we stop and take the time to nurture our inside wounds like we do the ones on the outside, then we will be alright.  When properly treated, I consider these intimate marks, our beauty scars of survival.  

There were a series of events throughout my life that shook me to the core.  Low self-esteem, depression, and loneliness made themselves comfortable and at home.  It took me to a dark place and tested my will to see the light of day.  But if it weren't for God throwing me a life preserver, wrapping me in His grace and mercy, I can only imagine how my life would have ended up.  Always on time, God allowed the right person to cross my path at the very moment I needed.  They were able to pick me up and guide me to the right resources so I could get back on track. 

        I haven’t gone through anything different than what most people have.  I can imagine there is someone else out there who has experienced financial hardships, a broken heart, death of loved ones, abuse, discrimination, bullying and so on.  I am grateful I reached out and held on to God’s life preserver.  I never gave up, kept my head above water and to Satan's surprise, I didn't drown.  I realized that in order to move forward, I must heal from within.  It was a slow and uncomfortable process but it was essential to open up and use my internal first aid kit.  That kit was stocked with God’s word, my church, loving friends and family, Mary J. Blige music, Iyanla Vanzant and T.D. Jakes to name a few!    

     Although I am a work in progress, it has only been the last seven years or less where I have gotten to the point of loving and accepting me just for who I am.  I now have the courage to share and expose those past symbols of hurt.  They represent my journey and are a verbal as well as visual testimony of proof.  I am on a steady path of self-awareness, improvement and growth.  Embracing my beauty scars have allowed my current relationships to benefit.   I gained strength and wisdom through the storm.  So if and when my foundation gets rocked again, I know how to attend to my injuries better.  Because I am a survivor!!

The Race To Personal Success-What Gear Is Your Child In?

     

As a parent, caretaker or educator, the responsibility to provide the best opportunities for our children to succeed in life, should begin and end with us.  Although there is no right or wrong answer (for the most part) in the handbook of raising a child, being a positive role model and leading by example, should be our top priority.  Despite our best efforts, outside influences such as peer pressure, drugs and alcohol, as well as violence in schools become obstacles that our children will face.  In order for our youth to have a chance of surviving those issues that plague our communities, we must set a foundation of solid principles in which they can fall back on.  Your child is in the driver’s seat and personal success awaits them.  What gear are they in?   

     Every child has the potential to become and do great things.  As they navigate through life, it is our role to be their pit crew so to speak.  We pick them up, guide and if necessary, give a little push.  As they grow and develop, finding their identity, we sit on the side line cheering them on, waiting for the next time they might have to pull over for another tune up. 

But our hard work won’t pay off if the child is in the following gears:

*Park-lazy, unmotivated, with excuse after excuse.

*Reverse-bad behaviors, doing everything contrary of what a productive citizen of society is supposed to do.

Things work better if they have the gear shifted in:

*Neutral-transition or at the fork in the road, may need other resources to help with decisions.

*Drive-willing and ready to do what it takes to achieve their goals.

   

Life is so precious and tomorrow awaits no one.  We owe it to our youth to succeed in every possible way, keeping their gear in drive.  As adults, we must do a personal inventory, ensuring that we not only talk the talk but walk the walk.  Is your mind, body and soul in sync or are you stuck in park, in need of a tune up?